A modest proposal to decentralize the Federal Government

I have some cousins who work inside the Beltway.

Their father worked inside the Beltway.

Their children work inside the Beltway. It has become a generational thing.

Sometimes, when talking to one of them, I get a whiff of "The White Man's Burden" It is not 'White Men' anymore but the sense of righteousness by virtue of birthplace is the same.

They assure me that it does not matter where they live and work because the Internet makes us all neighbors.  They can "feel my pain" through the Internet.

Of course, the sword cuts both ways.  Due to the Internet, their place of employment could very easily be anywhere other than the Washington D.C./Baltimore metro area with the high property prices, traffic and high crime rates.

Based on this article I propose that

The Treasury Department be moved to Casper, Wy.

The Department of Education be moved to Fort Worth, Tx.

The Justice Department be moved to Rutland, Vt.

The Department of Labor be moved to Fargo, ND.

HUD be moved to Fremont, Ca.

Transportation be moved to Tallahassee or Jacksonville, Fl.

The EPA be moved to Billings, Mt.

Lower costs, better performance and it drains the swamp.  Why would Trump NOT do it?

First Fruits, Prime Fruits

One of the precepts of Judeo-Christian tradition is that we must sacrifice "First Fruit, Prime Fruits" of our fields and labors. This precept was first enunciated in Leviticus 23 which is in the Old or Jewish Testaments.

The 40,000 foot flyover is that God expects us to have our priorities straight.  We must give to God first.  He also does not want produce heading for the compost pile, it must be our best effort.

A 20,000 foot flyover might ask, "What advantages might there be for the people?"  After all, God does not need prime lambs and goats.  He can raise them up out of dust with the snap of his fingers.

Genetic drift
I expect that the pastoral peoples of 2000 BC had a pretty good, basic understanding of genetics.   The problem with a basic understanding is that you can get into trouble over several generations if you don't comprehend the subtleties.

Suffolk sheep have been selected for large size and "meat".  They tend to throw single births because the breeders inadvertently selected for single births.

For example: Suppose you always choose the biggest ram lamb to use as your stud.  Invariably, the biggest ram will be the oldest ram lamb and it will be a "single" birth rather than a twin.

The primitive sheep-holder does not have the tools to be able to handicap the lambs for age or single-vs-twins.  Two things happen over multiple generations.  The lambing season migrates to earlier in the year when the weather is inclement and the lambing percentage drops.   That is a recipe for disaster in a brittle climate.

The entire lamb crop can be wiped out by a single winter weather event when lambing occurs too early in the spring.

Finn sheep come from a very hostile climate with very long winters.  The breeders selected for multiple births.

And twinning means that the sheep-holder can respond more aggressively to drought.  He can cull more aggressively to match his flock size to the forage base and still have the ability to quickly expand the flock when the rain pattern becomes more favorable.  A landrace of sheep that has only single births will rebound very slowly and the sheepholder must keep virtually every ewe, greatly eliminating his ability to select for traits like finer wool or longer wool or heavier fleeces.

Sacrificing the First Fruit (ram), Prime Fruit to God greatly slows the genetic drift over the generations.

The Capital-Gazette shooting revisited

Old NFO wrote, "Did you notice how quickly the latest shooting fell off the media radar..." 

My take is different than Old NFO's.

The Maryland Capital-Gazette newsroom shooting fell off the media radar because media knows that continued coverage of that story makes them a target.

Advertising
The advertising industry in the United States had revenue in excess of $200,000,000,000 in 2017.  Stated another way, there are 200,000,000,000 pieces of data that support the contention that "advertising works".

What is advertising?  Advertising is the exposure of ideas to decision-makers.  Often those ideas are "solutions".  Effective advertising paints graphic,  vivid pictures in the decision-maker's head.

Simply presenting an "idea" often releases a torrent of ideas that were locked up by the "failure of imagination" that made the original idea "unthinkable".  What really changed between September 10, 2001 and September 12, 2001?  The unthinkable became a reality.

Mainstream media is funded almost entirely by advertising revenues.  They believe in the power of repeated presentation of ideas.

Playing the odds
Media cold-bloodedly covered school shootings because many people in media don't have kids.  Or they figure there are 100,000 schools in the United States and figure the odds are that the next shooter won't choose the school their kids go to.

They don't mind putting other people's kids at risk because it sells advertising slots.

But there are currently 1300 daily newspapers.    The odds of being the next target increases by a factor of 100 compared to school shootings when shooting up newspaper offices becomes imaginable.

Looking at national news there are only three:  CNN, Fox and MSNBC.  The odds of being the next target increases by a factor of 30,000 compared to school shootings.  That is probably why you never hear of unhinged people attempting to penetrate those businesses.  I am sure it happens but you simply don't hear about it.

Sorry Old NFO, it had nothing to do with the shooter and everything to do with the target.

How the bear sh!ts in the woods

One afternoon Mr Rabbit was enjoying a calm, contemplative sh!t in the woods when he noticed a large bear engaged in the same activity.

The bear, noticing Mr Rabbit, asked him in a quizzical, conversational way, "Are rabbits troubled by fecal matter sticking to their fur?"

Delighted to have a chance to explain how rabbits are superior to bears Mr Rabbit replied, "No.  Rabbit feces are small and round, dry and hard.  Rabbits are not the least bit troubled by feces sticking to our fur."

"Good!" replied the bear as he scooped up Mr Rabbit and used him to scrub his nether regions.

The one question that kept coming up regarding my long (+14 mile) walks involved "What did you do about solid waste elimination?"

After hearing that question for the third time I realized it is a topic that I needed to write about.  Sadly, today's youth have had little need to study this topic.

Background
You might find yourself needing this information if you are on a long walk.

Or perhaps you were invited to "hunting camp" and ate a breakfast that was far larger and greasier than is your norm.  You find yourself under pressure as you near your stand when you realize the host locked the cabin.

Or perhaps you plan to move to San Francisco and want to experience a carefree, bohemian lifestyle.

Location, location, location

Look around!  You might find a structure suitable for your needs.

If you cannot find a "real" latrine, you will have to make do.

This place would be suitable provided there is material nearby to cover the output.  Tall grass tends to cause blow-back while woods are often buggy.

Personally, I favor corn fields as they are very unlikely to have human traffic either during or after the main event.  They are large enough that any run-off during torrential rains is likely to be absorbed or very diluted.  Corn is tall enough to screen and widely enough spaced to not get in the way.

It is absolutely critical that you consider the ease with which you can cover the evidence.  Covering the output reduces the possibility of flies spreading pathogens.  Covering also moderates long-term temperature and moisture fluctuations allowing biological agents to 'mellow' your contribution to the soil.  Corn fields have bare dirt that is easy to scrape with a shoe or boot.

Another consideration is the proximity of yellow jacket or wasp nests.  Fire ants would be a factor in the deep south.  Yeah, I know your tender regions are pulsating but take a count of thirty and really scope out the immediate area (20 foot radius).

The Stance
Like all performance oriented sports that involve sending small objects flying through the air, stance is critical.

The ideal stance is with the feet fairly close together and the feet oriented in a slightly pigeon-toed manner.

The temptation is to have one's feet widely spaced.  The problem with that is that it does not give the bear the opportunity to push clothing forward and out of potential spray region.

Closer spacing of the feet allows for a more favorable arrangement of clothing.  This is critically important in the winter time.  The closely positioned feet also prevents clothing from migrating back downrange.

Of course my sh!t stinks...like cinnamon.  The hunter who creates this situation usually realizes their mistake 0.3 seconds after they flip the hood back on their head.

Closing the range
Hunters realize that the key to hitting the target is to close the range to the practical minimum.  Squatting will both close the range and minimize the risk of collateral damages but will also allow your sphincter valve to relax and let nature take care of the rest.  Hence the slang term, "pop-a-squat".

Remember:
Fiber is not always your friend and to always carry paper towels with you.

---Added later---

I don't want readers to think that I walk out the door with the intention of taking a dump on property that does not belong to me.  That would be disrespectful.

However, our guts are run by a semi-autonomous central nervous system, something like a two year-old toddler.  It does what it wants to do.  Sometimes it just does not matter that you avoided fiber and coffee and did not eat any food...you just gotta go.

Remus is posting updates on his Woodpile Report

His update from Thursday night read

I’m deeply humbled by your prayers and notes of well wishes. My sincere thanks. Wish I could answer each email. Too many. And I’m too drugged up and spacey to manage it. Into O.R. Friday morning. “All out effort,” they say. All else has failed. I’ll stop here.

Eye-rolls are a sign of contempt

Teenagers make a big show of it.

Adults "hide it" by making the eye-roll while blinking.  People who study body language call this a micro eye-roll. Except it does not quite hide the eye-roll.  The act still communicates that the person performing the eye-roll considers himself to be vastly superior to the other party...almost another species.

The person who assembled this montage captured several eye-rolls.

If you ever had any doubts about the existence of the Deep State, look at this man, a hireling of the FBI and understand that he KNOWS that Congress (and Trump) cannot touch him. 

That is, the people we elected to run the show are not running the show.

More painting and picture of Tree Swallows

Before

After

Not the "right" molding but it works.  I opted to have the ends stick out 2-1/4" to kick the moisture out just a little farther away from the wooden frames.

The 2-by-8 plank beneath the air conditioner is rotted out.  The wire brush was eating through it as if it were a bar of soap.  I saturated it with Thompson Water Seal figuring it was better than putting lipstick on a pig.

The corners like to rot out.

Tree Swallows.

I visited the University of Illinois campus in Urbana-Champaign, Illinois as a Michigan State University student in 1981.  It was with great glee that I learned that the bus line in Champaign was named "The Illini Swallow".  That is a memorable name.

That is a great headline.  I wonder if it was intentional.