"I need a faster tractor"

Today, at coffee, Freddie announced "I need a faster tractor!"

This surprised us.  Freddie's lawn is very small.  He mows the median of M-99 just so the can get the engine good and hot before shutting it down.  He knows that engines that don't come up to heat collect moisture in the oil.

Now, you have to have a mental picture of Freddie.  He is about five feet tall.  He says that is because he worked all his life.  Carrying heavy loads pushed his shoulders down and walking extra miles wore the tread off his feet.

He is eighty-two and looks like a peanut-in-the-shell.  He is from Union City, Tennessee.  OK, I lied.  He was thirteen years old before he went to the big city (Union City).  He grew up on a farm near Union City, Tennessee.

His wife died twenty years ago.  His life is mostly about the waitresses who serve him food (all of whom he adores, and they adore him in return), the nurses at the hospital who he delivers donuts to on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, the old guys where he goes to church...and the coffee crowd.

We were surprised that Freddie suddenly, at age 82, felt a need for a faster tractor.  We asked him "Why?"

Freddie segued into the ongoing battle he has with his resident woodchuck.  It has been going on for almost fifteen years.  Given the normal life expectancy of woodchucks, it is likely a multi-generational family feud at this point.

In early spring the vegetation is thin and the woodchucks are ravenous from their winter hibernation.  They range far from their burrows seeking enough poundage of succulent spring growth to stuff their bellies.  The females are pregnant and that also dials up their caloric needs.

"I almost got him the other day.  I was a-gaining on him.  I was sure I was gonna catch him."  Freddie told us.  "And then he made it to the hole by the gay-rogg.  As noted earlier, Freddie adores girls.  Since that woodchuck is his mortal enemy it must be a male.  That is why the woodchuck is always him.

"I figure if I get a mower that is just a little faster, why, next time I'll slice him up like lunch meat."  Freddie had a bright twinkle in his eye as he foresaw the doom of his arch enemy.

That is the essence of life in a small town.  Old guys with horizons that are compressed to the next 24 hours and a fifteen mile radius.  Old guys who love everybody who helps them make it through the day.  Old guys whose highest ambition is to turn woodchucks into "lunch meat."

Pictures: 305 Growing Degree Days (B42)

Trout Lily also known as Dogtooth Violet also known as Erythronium americanum  Sadly, I have none of these growing on my property.  These photos were from our walk.

The earliest blooming apples are in full bloom.  This is a crabapple (Malus X robusta) that has a branch of Liberty grafted on the left side of the tree.  Liberty is considered early for a domestic apple and it is still several days behind the Malus baccata, M. X robusta, and M. prunifolia.

This a tree of Trailman, one of the super-hardy varieties out of Canada.  It has much Malus baccata in its background.

The latest pears are in full bloom.  That would include Harrow Sweet, Shenandoah and Concorde.

The fragrant viburnums are in bloom.  That includes the hybrids with V. carlesii in their backgrounds.  I planted one of these because they were in bloom at the hospital when my oldest son was born.  It must have been a very late year because they usually bloom one-to-two weeks before his birthday.

Kids playing on the oil well

Darned if I know why they took off their shoes.

This picture was taken Sunday morning.  I hauled a metric ton of brush.  Mrs ERJ limbed out and dewhiskered fire wood.  I was able to mow most of the yard today.

Rejuvenescimento

I once worked for a company that had Latin American affiliates.  One of those affiliates had a practice called  Rejuvenescimento.  That is, Rejuvenation.

The practice was very simple.  They fired 10% of their workforce every year.  Each level had a 10% levy.  My boss, who had spent time with that affiliate, claimed it was extremely motivating.  You did not want to be in that bottom 10%.  Heck, you did not want to be in the bottom 30% due to measurement errors.

Another advantage was that it created upward mobility for skilled people in the lower ranks.  It was guaranteed that the best-and-the-brightest would have promotional opportunities every year.  It created quite an up-draft and, consequently, promising employees did not need to leave the firm to seek advancement.

A final advantage was that it enables a flat organization structure.  For example, a "span" of ten means that a firm of 1000 employees only needs three levels.  A "span" of three would drive six levels.  As firms age the "span" often shrinks, especially at the higher levels.  Rejuvenation provides a solution to the executive who got promoted above his competence or became corrupt or complaisant.  There is no need to provide him with an office and retire-him-in-place.

It did not just "enable" a flat organizational structure, it forced it.  Functionally, losing 10% of the players at any given level is self-healing.  The other 90% can pick up the slack and train the incoming players.  At a span of three, the loss of one employee is 33% and the remaining two will not have time to both do their job (necessary to avoid being selected for the next year's levy) and train the new guy. 

Rejuvenation pretty much forced a span of at least ten.  Otherwise every year became a huge shit-storm as each high level manager postured, juked and waffled to avoid having to fire any of his three underlings.  It was much cleaner to tell each manager, "You have to fire one of your ten employees every year.  Plan on it."

From the movie Zootopia, the Secretary of State scene.

I wonder what it would take to get the Government to practice Rejuvenescimento. 

Careful, you might get what you ask for

One of our small-town Romeos dumped his girlfriend a few months ago because she was too demanding.

He undoubtedly believed the grass was greener outside the relationship.

After breaking up he found that benefits were harder to come by than his friends had led him to believe.  Perhaps it is because he now had a reputation for dumping girlfriends.  Maybe it was because he looked like he needed a good dose of worming medicine; he projected the aura of over-cooked spaghetti, pale and languid.

He tried to get back together with his old girlfriend.  She wanted nothing to do with him.

Nobody every accused Romeo of being the sharpest knife in the drawer but he was smart enough to go on-line and research what others had done in similar situations.

He texted his ex-GF and told her that he was despondent (not a word he would normally use) and was thinking of ending it all.

A short time later Romeo heard from the girl's dad.  The dad informed Romeo that the dad saw suicide as a viable option.  In fact, if Romeo wanted to die all he had to do was text the dad's daughter one more time.  Ever.  (Menacing glower inserted here)

Better than a protective order from a judge.  The young man now cruises parking lots to ensure that  the ex-GF (or any of her family) is not in the store before parking his vehicle.  He was standing in the checkout line at the auto parts place when the ex-GF's grandfather walked in the door.  Romeo laid his items down on the counter and left without speaking.

Nothing like the threat of brutal, physical violence to rekindle a young man's sense of self preservation.

I consider that a happy ending.

Polliator follow-up. 295 Growing Degree Days (B42)

Control.  Approximately six inches of fly ribbon.  Picture taken approximately three o'clock in the afternoon.

Approximately six inches of the fly ribbon in the apple orchard, most buds not open.

Six inches of fly ribbon in the pears.  Potomac pear in full bloom.

Close-ups of some of the pollinators from the pear orchard

This one was under the apples.

---Added later---
Very few bumblebees this year.  I think it is because all of our rain flooded out many of their in-ground nests.  Charlotte, the town just west of us, recorded over six inches of rain in the last 45 days.

Pollinators

It should be a good day for pollination.  Temperatures above sixty and low wind.

Honeybees become active at fifty F but they are not very active.  Bumblebees can be seen flying around at forty F.

Want to catch some flying insects?  Use fly ribbon!

The early pears are in full bloom and the later pears are on the verge of breaking open.  I decided to see if I could catch some of those itty-bitty pollinators and get some photos.

Close-up.  Nothing fancy.  I pulled out about 12" (300mm).  I want to sample the pollinators, not wipe them out.  I attached it to a limb that is about 6' above ground.  I hung it on the south side of the tree.

Then, I decided to make it a bit of an experiment.  I hung three ribbons in three separate places.  I hung them at 9 AM. 

Also six feet above ground, 12" of ribbon and on the south side of the tree.

I hung the second one in a Liberty apple tree.  The buds are a couple of days away from opening.  It is my perception that apple blossoms are much more attractive to pollinators than European pear blossoms with Asian pears somewhere in between.  Part of the attraction might be fragrance.  European pears are almost fragrance free.  Asian pears smell putrid.  Apple blossoms smell nice and tend to be more densely packed on the tree.

The third ribbon is the control.  It is in my garden, fifty feet from the nearest tree.  The leaves in the background are atop the row of asparagus.  Ground cover is mostly nettle, grass and bare dirt.

If all goes according to plan, I will saunter out at about five and take some pictures.

Ain't spring grand?

I have a cold, poison ivy and sun burn all at the same time.

On a more positive note, we hit a high of 60F.  I did not see any honey bees working the trees but there were a few bumble bees and swarms of itty-bitty pollinators.  Most of them were working the leeward side of the trees.

Note to self:  Graft a few twigs of Korean Giant or Mustafabey into the block of Potomac so those little dudes don't have to fly as far.