The Golden-mean

There is a story that seemed to pop up in many places in the American west at approximately the same time. Whether it was the Texas panhandle or the dry side of the Alberta Rocky mountains, it involves settlers sending for "mail-order brides".

A typical version of the story goes something like this:

The three women showed up at the train station and the three grooms showed up to greet them. Since none of the men had bothered to write letters to them there was confusion as to which bride was to go to which groom.

The oldest settler suggested that each bride peel a potato as the men watched, and then, after drawing lots, the settlers would choose whichever bride most suited him.

The three brides were each given a gnarly, lumpy potato and a paring knife.

The girl from Germany painstakingly peeled her potato and it was as smooth as a hen's egg with virtually zero waste. 

The girl from Ireland had her potato peeled in 15 seconds flat but it was not as finely peeled as the German girl's potato.

The three grooms and the two prospective brides turned to watch the girl from the large, eastern city struggle with her potato. Even though the German girl had taken two full minutes to peel her potato, the city girl was not even half done. After another two minutes the oldest settler said "I think we have seen enough. Time to draw lots."

The oldest settler got the longest straw. The youngest settler got the next longest and the settler who had been born in Norway drew the shortest straw.

The oldest settler didn't waste a second. He grabbed the Irish girl by the wrist and marched her to the church to get married. His figuring was that a farm-wife needed to be able to do more than just cook so a girl who could cook "Good enough, speedy-quick and plenty of it" was what he was looking for.

The youngest settler chose the German girl. He assumed that she would get faster with practice. Those two were married two minutes after the first couple got hitched.

The Norwegian settler looked at the city girl for a few minutes and said "I think I would rather stay single" and put her back on the train back to Chicago.

Being a pragmatic person, the girl went back to Chicago and the story of her humiliation became a part of the family's folk-lore. It doesn't take much to be famous in Chicago so it should come as no surprise that visitors to Chicago can even visit a large sculpture that memorializes the girl's unfortunate potato.