There was a time when I thought I could turn my blog-writing-skills toward "writing grant applications". My thinking was that with inflation biting at my heals I might need additional income and "Writing grants" seemed like a natural evolution.
I recently had a very small taste of that activity and decided that my time will be better spent pulling weeds in the garden.
This is my current mental picture of "grants".
Arbitrary and capricious rewards/punishments
B. F. Skinner's lab did a landmark experiment with pigeons where they randomly rewarded the birds food. That is, they made food available to hungry pigeons for a short duration at random time intervals.
I think the original motivation was to determine if random rewards might be more suitable "control" while running experiments on behavioral-conditioning than feeding the birds short rations at regular intervals.
In the words of the published paper:
A pigeon is brought to a stable state of hunger by reducing it to 75 percent of its weight when well fed. It is put into an experimental cage for a few minutes each day. A food hopper attached to the cage may be swung into place so that the pigeon can eat from it. A solenoid and a timing relay hold the hopper in place for five sec. at each reinforcement.
If a clock is now arranged to present the food hopper at regular intervals with no reference whatsoever to the bird's behavior, operant conditioning usually takes place. In six out of eight cases the resulting responses were so clearly defined that two observers could agree perfectly in counting instances. One bird was conditioned to turn counter-clockwise about the cage, making two or three turns between reinforcements. Another repeatedly thrust its head into one of the upper corners of the cage. A third developed a 'tossing' response, as if placing its head beneath an invisible bar and lifting it repeatedly. Two birds developed a pendulum motion of the head and body, in
which the head was extended forward and swung from right to left with a sharp movement followed by a somewhat slower return. The body generally followed the movement and a few steps might be taken when it was extensive. Another bird was conditioned to make incomplete pecking or brushing movements directed toward but not touching the floor...
***
The experiment might be said to demonstrate a sort of superstition. The bird behaves as if there was a causal relation between its behavior and the presentation of food, although such a relation is lacking. There are many analogies in human behavior. Rituals for changing one's luck at cards are good examples. A few accidental connections between a ritual and favorable consequences suffice to set up and maintain the behavior in spite of many unreinforced instances. The bowler who has released a ball down the alley but continues to behave as if he were controlling it by twisting and turning his arm and shoulder is another case in point. These behaviors have,
of course, no real effect upon one's luck or upon a ball half way down an alley, just as in the present case the food would appear as often if the pigeon did nothing—or, more strictly speaking, did something else.
A camel is a racehorse that was designed by a committee
Applications for grants are processed by committees. Sabrina, Tabitha, Heidi and Keith sit around a table and make decisions. First Sabrina gets to pick one and they vote. Then Tabitha picks one. Then Heidi and then Keith. A causal kind of collusion evolves where "If you vote for my choice, I will vote for yours."
Each member of the committee has "special interests" that they refuse to compromise over. Often it is making sure that "their people" get a major piece of the action.
Each member is trying to impress their boss with the zeal with which they protect their silo's special interests.
Each member is also trying to read the weather with respect to future fads by which their decisions will be judged.
Finally, grant application directions are padded with fuzzy-feel-good boiler-plate* (Note, this language cut-and-pasted from an actual grant application):
- "Build local community capacity to grow, manage and care..."
- "Assist communities in developing and implementing sustainable community..."
- "Address environmental justice and equity issues by engaging and involving disadvantaged and/or underserved communities as defined by federal executive order 14008 (Justice40 initiative)"
- "Improve public awareness and understanding of the benefits of preserving, maintaining and expanding..."
- "Facilitate partnerships among residents and public, private, and nonprofit organizations to encourage stewardship..."
- "Support innovative projects and partnerships..."
- "Enhance the technical skills of those involved in planning, managing, or maintaining ..."
- "Incorporate fill-in-blank into climate adaptation and resilience strategies to support more equitable and resilient communities."
These are all bumpers in the pin-ball machine that spits out grants and those factors create "randomness". Applicants who did not receive a grant invariably study the applications of those who did receive grants and make adjustments in next year's application.
Why this might be important to know
If the Harris machine somehow wins the election, .gov will dominate the economy into the foreseeable future.
They will pump money into the economy and "create" jobs via grants.
As bad as it is now, the chaos and irrational behaviors (like criminalizing the use of petroleum products) of individuals and organizations will get even worse.
Decisions will be based on "superstitions" (in the Skinner sense) rather than on well-defined objectives and rational thought.
*Unmeasurable!
You are an insightful guy Joe. And yes, pulling weeds is a better option ---ken
ReplyDeleteI've become so black pilled that I to avoid even engaging with government, even for free money.
ReplyDeleteA local beekeeper I met applied for and got a grant to plant wildflowers on some acres. So he did! Great for his bee's, they never even came and checked on him to see if he did. I sure could use a few thousand dollars worth of seeds for my bee's... Nope, not gonna.
Ultimately it's a handout. Politicians grease the palms of favored groups by giving out grants. That's why everything available has buzz words politicians love.
To be honest, you're a good enough writer, you could easily baffle them w/ bull-fertilizer. Listen, if Kameltoe can promise free loans that don't need to be paid back, but only if your melanin content is high enough, I'm sorry, but this system, whatever you want to call it, is done. Grab what you can while you can.
Government aid comes with too many conditions. Taking their money is selling your soul.
DeletePulling weeds and pruning the fruit trees is honest work. Dirty sweaty work. Hard on the body as many a old school farmer or logger can show you.
ReplyDeleteWriting "Grants" is also dirty work. Learning the "current thing" suck up is soul damaging work as intended by the powers that be.
Combining a smart properly melanin person with your skillset to share the blessing of ill-gotten gains from the powers that be is something to be prayed over.
“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”
― robert heinlein
I know two African-Americans pretty well.
DeleteOne is crazy-good at her job which is a field that is in high demand.
The other is pretty-good and he works in a field where they simply can't find people who want to show up and work.
Both of them are too proud (in the finest kind of way) to grovel for that kind of money.
So that isn't going to happen and I am very much at peace with it.
Yeah, when we were young and cash was short, I pursued every 'pot' of 'government money' that I knew of, with regard to 'farm' programs... which usually were more focused on 'wildlife habitat' than on productive beef production (for instance... they would not pay for fescue seed in a pasture renovation project... had to be short-lived (here) orchardgrass, timothy, and red clover. I did a few NRCS-funded projects, but they almost always necessitated me having to come back and re-do them correctly, on my own dime.
ReplyDeleteThe algorithms the government uses to decide who will receive 'their' largesse is an enigma.
Modern grant writing is similar to the ancient and medieval practice of patronage: always effectively begging at the doorstep of the great and powerful, always having to flatter them and speak in their terms to get the money one needs, always at risk of having it pulled away for something like a minor potential infraction or even simply not agreeing with the narrative. It is a rather poor way to fund a living.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest problem with grants is that governments pass laws requiring us to do things, they take our money, and then give it back to us with strings attached to do the things they require us to do instead of letting us do those things directly.
ReplyDeleteHighly regulated activities, like law enforcement, are really bad about this.
Jonathan
I'm starting to thing AI would probably successful on 80- 90% of it's grant applications. Using the correct verbage is important. Also remember that industry groups and foundations issue grants. The last 10-20% is who you know.
ReplyDeleteYep, load in previous successful grant applications, dump in proper names, then ask for triple the money needed and Bobs your uncle.
DeleteI firmly believe that committees are an invention of Lucifer himself.
ReplyDelete"If the Harris machine somehow wins the election, .gov will dominate the economy into the foreseeable future."
ReplyDeleteHilarious. dotgov has won every election in my lifetime regardless of who's running it and will continue doing so until it brings civilization to its knees.