Gaining a few pounds as we age is not the same a a mental issue where you pig out 3-5 times a day or graze continuously and gain 50 lbs in a year due to just plain overeating while denying the problem. .
I am torn on this, ERJ. On the one hand, the sense that we all tend to gain something around the edges and become "less lovely" is something should be expected; if love is based totally on that it will eventually fail (There is a saying in Scottish Gaelic that runs "I married a trollop for her gear; the gear is gone but she is still here").
On the other hand, pursuing any activity to the point that it damages you ultimately damages the relationship as well. Not ten years ago we were told that childhood obesity and general American obesity is a problem; now it is something to be celebrated. I suspect we will be mystified by increase in various related health conditions in the future as well - "Who could have seen this coming?"
My family history is diabetic. For me to somehow pretend it will work out otherwise is both foolish and dangerous, no matter how much society tells me that something like my weight (which increases my likelihood) does not matter.
One of the primary reasons men and women decide to partner is sexual attraction. It is not the only reason, nor necessarily the most important, but it is still very significant. Choose to neglect that fact and allow attraction to deteriorate, either through physical appearance or emotional behavior, and you may put that relationship at risk. It will naturally weaken to some extent as we age; but that is no excuse for sabotaging it. It may become less important, and even supplanted by other reasons (financial, parenting, friendship). Still, I think for most couples, it is a necessary, if not sufficient, condition for a happy marriage.
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Gaining a few pounds as we age is not the same a a mental issue where you pig out 3-5 times a day or graze continuously and gain 50 lbs in a year due to just plain overeating while denying the problem. .
ReplyDeleteCourtesy is a virtue, Joe… cowardice is not! 😂👍
ReplyDeleteI am torn on this, ERJ. On the one hand, the sense that we all tend to gain something around the edges and become "less lovely" is something should be expected; if love is based totally on that it will eventually fail (There is a saying in Scottish Gaelic that runs "I married a trollop for her gear; the gear is gone but she is still here").
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, pursuing any activity to the point that it damages you ultimately damages the relationship as well. Not ten years ago we were told that childhood obesity and general American obesity is a problem; now it is something to be celebrated. I suspect we will be mystified by increase in various related health conditions in the future as well - "Who could have seen this coming?"
My family history is diabetic. For me to somehow pretend it will work out otherwise is both foolish and dangerous, no matter how much society tells me that something like my weight (which increases my likelihood) does not matter.
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ReplyDeleteOne of the primary reasons men and women decide to partner is sexual attraction. It is not the only reason, nor necessarily the most important, but it is still very significant.
ReplyDeleteChoose to neglect that fact and allow attraction to deteriorate, either through physical appearance or emotional behavior, and you may put that relationship at risk. It will naturally weaken to some extent as we age; but that is no excuse for sabotaging it.
It may become less important, and even supplanted by other reasons (financial, parenting, friendship). Still, I think for most couples, it is a necessary, if not sufficient, condition for a happy marriage.