Predatory Billing (rant)

My anti-virus software license came up for renewal.  I have been very happy with the software. It loads quickly on start-up.  Virus updates have been quick and fairly painless.

It appears that their retailer is taking a page out of the "Book of the Month Club" scam.  For those of you who are too young to remember; The Book of the Month Club would mail you a book that was yours too keep.  If you did not want that book, all you had to do to avoid being invoiced was to put it back in the box, tape it up to USPS requirements, walk it down to the Post Office and mail it back within a few days.

The usual come-on was to have a few top drawer books as window dressing and then vast numbers of third tier books.

Many third-tier books were lost in the shuffle and never made it back to the post office within the required time window.  The customer ended up paying full retail price for books that could be had at the bargain barn and flea market for one fifth of list price.

The purchase agreement

I had to type this out by hand.  For some reason, the vendor disabled my mouse so I am unable to copy-and-paste.  I could not even take a screen print.  Your speculation regarding the motives for making it very difficult to reproduce this boiler-plate is as valid as mine.

By clicking the button below and by completing your purchase, you authorize Digital River to automatically renew your purchase license for successive renewal terms equal in length to your initial license term but no longer than 1 year, at the then-current renewal license price (plus applicable taxes) using your payment information provided for your initial purchase until you cancel.  At least one email will be sent to you to remind you of each upcoming renewal.  The Digital River Terms of Sale and Privacy Policy will apply to each renewal transaction.  You also agree that Digital River may, upon notice to you transfer your responsibility for the processing of renewals of your purchased license under the Auto-Renewal Plan to Avast Software a.s. (“Avast”), in which case Digital River will transfer your billing information to Avast or their payment processor and Avast’s terms of sale and privacy policy provided to you in Avast’s reminder email will apply to each renewal transaction.  You may cancel your auto-renewal plan at any time by logging into the My Subscriptions portal (access information will be included in your order confirmation email or on the Customer Service Help page), selecting your product and selecting the option to disable automatic renewal.

By clicking on the submit button I would authorize Digital River authority to make charges against my credit card into perpetuity.  I would also be giving Digital River the right to transfer that authority to unknown parties.  The only way I could shrug off the burden would be by following some, undisclosed, chain of links.

No Thank-you 

Food Inflation

One of the advantages of handloading ammunition is that one learns to become attentive to tactile cues.

It is common to stop in mid-sequence because you  had a piece of .357 Magnum brass in a batch of .38 Special.

Family Traditions

We started a family tradition when I was working second shift on a regular basis.  We had two teenagers in the house and Mrs ERJ was running on "Empty" by Friday.  Friday became pizza and a  movie (on DVD) night.  It was a matter of survival.

It is a good tradition.  We pick a movie that may be of interest to several members of the family.  As parents we retain veto power but mostly we let the kids pick the movie.

Pizza

I picked up the Rising Crust, 4 Cheeses pizza for tonight.  It felt light.  I looked at the weight.  It is 19.5 ounces.  They weighed 26.5 ounces the last time I bought one.  I pay attention to weights and nutrition information for a couple of reasons.  Sometimes a bargain is not a bargain.  Also, I want my kids to eat as healthily as possible. 

It may sound silly to mention "pizza" and "eating healthily" in the same breath.  But if the first rule is to do no evil then  rule 1.1 is, "If one must do evil then to choose the most hypovirulent form available."

Mac-and-Cheese

Mac-and-cheese is another of our family staples.

We were shopping on Sunday after church. The mac-and-cheese has been downgraded from 8 ounces to 5.5 ounces.  The down-sizing in packaging has been so willy-nilly that the picture on the package was a different pasta of a different shape than what the labeling identified.
 
Another thing that has happened is that "Marketing" is pushing "creamy", "chipolte", and ""jalapeno". 

"Creamy" is starch which is way less expensive than dairy.  The thinking is that sauce is what paints the tongue and is 70% of the sensory loading that convinces your brain that you are eating yummy food.  More sauce might mean more aggressive painting.

Chipolte and jalapeno offer much flavor per penny.  More to my liking, they offer much flavor per calorie.  Our main consumers of mac-and-cheese will not be handicapped by a sensory profile that is so big, and so bold that the diner fails to notice that 2.5 ounces of food did not hit the plate.

The Staples

It is hard for me to get exercised about inflation when talking about filet mignon.  I start to notice when the inflation hits ground beef and chicken thighs. 

Denial dies when inflation hits the starchy staples:  potatoes, rice, pasta, bread, pizza, cereal.  The starchy staples are the lowest step on the grocery store food chain.  There is no more flexibility in terms of trading quality-for-volume beyond rice and flour, soybean oil and sugar.  The shoe starts to pinch and there is no larger size to move into.

Sump Pumps

Yesterday was a wintery, drizzly, dreary day.  I was awakened from my afternoon nap by Mrs ERJ.  "There is water on the basement floor."

That is not my favorite way to have Mrs ERJ awaken me.  Sigh.

Sump Pumps

In general, sump pumps are marvelously forgettable appliances.  They are a robust, mature technology.  If there is power, they work.

I went into the basement.  There was water on the floor and the crock was full.  I went back upstairs and changed into tee shirt and shorts.  Then I joined battle with the recalcitrant sump pump.

The float was stuck.  A piece of trash had blown into the crock and jammed the float.

The sump started humming after I pulled that piece of trash (about the fifth piece) out of the crock.  The pump was humming but the water level was not subsiding.

Robust systems

One characteristic of robust systems is that they can shrug off multiple insults and still continue to turn in adequate performance.  It takes more than one or two arrows to bring down a mastodon.  A corollary of that observation is that one must be prepared to address many issues to bring a failed robust system back to baseline performance.

Smelling pretty

Part of launching kids into adulthood is to have them do their own laundry.  It is something they need to know how to do.

Mrs ERJ and I have two different approaches to encouraging our kids to take ownership of their laundry.  My approach is to tell them that I wash everything together and that I was everything on COLD/COLD.  If I pick your clothes up off the bathroom floor they might come out of the drier or off the line smelling like your brother's sweats, the dog's towel or the kitchen wash rags.

Mrs ERJ's approach is to buy them sweet smelling paper to throw in the washing machine and different sweet smelling wax paper to throw into the drier.  Those sheets of paper become limp, blowable litter after being used.  They migrate like salmon to the crock and mate.  An important part of their mating ritual involves being sucked into the sump pump and jamming the impeller.

I pulled the mating drier sheets out of the pump one at a time.  The crock was still overflowing and I was very, very wet.

Galvanized fittings

Assured of success at last, I plugged in the sump pump.

And a blast of  cold bilge water broke over the washing machine.

I unplugged the sump pump and muscled the washing machine away from the wall.


Forty years ago the builder decided to save a few dollars and use galvanized clamps to hold the hard piping for the gray water to the cinderblock wall.  He also used galvanized fittings and short lengths of radiator hose to plumb in the check valve.

Two of the galvanized wall clamps had disintegrated and the weight and the thrust of the bilge water had been supported by the radiator hose and galvanized clamps to the check valve.  Until today.  My yanking, tugging and cussing must have broken them loose as well.

All the clamps need replacing.  This is the one that let loose.

A trip to the hardware store.

I bought two stainless steel clamps.  After kibitzing with the clerk (Plumbing = Three trips.  Always) I bought another two clamps.

Success

After many abortive efforts to insert the nipple on the check valve into the forty year old radiator hose I was finally successful after liberally lubritating the inside of the hose with dish detergent.  Clamp was tightened.  A piece of 5/4 decking put beneath the plumbing with the rotted out wall clamp.  The pump was plugged back in and the water on the floor started to recede.

Congress

In spite of repeated requests that I run for public office on the strength of my experience with crocks, bilge, filth, sweet smelling sheets and failure of robust systems, I must decline.   I have other, productive work to do.

Lipstick or Sparkplugs

Well, it is official.  Kubota's girlfriend dumped him.

He is taking it far better than expected.  Frankly, he seems relieved.

Having a lady friend is a heavy, heavy burden and an awesome responsibility when one is an eight grade boy.

The job description is strewn with nearly insurmountable obstacles.  How do you take your lady out on a date?  Do you pick her up riding the bus?  Do you show up driving your parent's lawnmower? Or, gack! do you ask your parents for a ride?

Learning

My experience is that I learned one important thing with each serious relationship I had.  Much of dating is learning about one's self.  What is negotiable.  More important, we learn what is not negotiable.

After we have learned all of the important things then we are "ready". 

My mental image is that a person who is "ready" is like the one, perfectly ripe banana at the grocery store.  They may have 300 green bananas on the display and one perfectly ripe one.  The ripe banana will be picked off by a hungry customer within minutes.

So it is when you are "ready".  BAM!  Within days or weeks you will find your self in a great, long lasting relationship with another ripe banana.

Sidebar:   I once dated a woman who claimed to have four personalities: Peggy, Agnes, Juanita and Lucy.  

• Peggy was her default personality.  Peggy was as comfortable as an old, beloved pair of shoes.
• Agnes was Grande Dame mode.  Formal dress, make-up, different vocabulary.  Intimidating.
• Juanita was the domestic help.  Doo-rag, Spanish cussing, manic cleaning mode.  Fishing was always good when Juanita showed up.
• Lucy was the vamp.  "Lose" ==> Lucy.  Get it.  I can honestly say that I did not stick around long enough to meet Lucy.

So, the rhetorical question is, do people learn multiple important things when they date people with multiple personalities?  End Sidebar.

Back to Kubota

Kubota seems more relieved than anything.  He wants to play the field.  He wants to save his money and invest in sparkplugs.  He has his eye on a dirt bike.  As the old saying almost goes, "If it wears lipstick or has sparkplugs...it is going to cost you money."

At this point, I think he will get into less trouble with a dirt bike than he will with a girl friend.  So I am a little bit relieved.  Maybe he will stop bugging me to buy a ride-on lawnmower.

Rain Dance

Mrs ERJ is an optimist.  She enjoys reading Guideposts magazines and books written by  Debbie MacComber and Jan Karon.  She looked at my latest book acquisition, One Second After, and said, "Oh, you are not reading those kinds of books again."

She worries that I will become negative and depressed.

We view life from a very different perspective.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving

Information is not data

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is the day that all turkeys in the United States have the most information regarding the benevolence of farmers and a trend toward an ever more benign future.

Mrs ERJ looks at those books and is concerned that I will wallow in negativity and become despondent.

Mrs ERJ looks at the information from her past and she looks at the people, books and radio shows that she uses like wallpaper to modify her environment.  The majority of the information in that environment suggests that most of our leaders are benevolent, that the future will be benign and that technology will eventually solve all of our issues.

I am less optimistic.

Rain dance

Primitive cultures engaged in "rain dances" during droughts.  Ostensibly, the purpose of the rain dance was to bring the rains.  Modern science suggests that they seldom worked, yet primitive cultures continued to have rain dances.  Why?  Because rain dances serve a secondary function.  Rain dances ease anxiety by providing the illusion of control.

Modern rain dances are to live in a "good" zipcode, get the right college degrees, wear peer accepted costumes, drive the most reliable brand of vehicle, trust the experts, go into debt and gobble fish-oil capsules.

My rain dance is a little bit different.  I plant gardens, graft and groom trees, reload ammo and plink with my gun(s).  I build social capital with neighbors.  I struggle to be physically fit and I try to shrink my resource footprint so I will not go catatonic if/when things tank.

Because if things go south for any one of a half a dozen reasons, then the Great Depression of the 1930s will likely be fondly renamed as the Civil Depression or the Gentle Depression.

In the mean time, I enjoy what I am doing and it does not cost much.  At least it does not cost much money as long as Powder Valley is out of powder and projectiles.   My efforts to shrink my footprint have been wildly successful.  A neighbor stopped by yesterday and gifted me with a large bag of gently used clothing.

I am both touched and amused.  I have great neighbors.

Rigging

I moved the chicken coop today.

I thought my readers might be interested in the topic of "rigging".

"Riggers" used to lift and place disrailed locomotives back onto the rails using little more than railroad ties, wedges and sledge hammers.  Modern riggers are more likely to use Brodersons, steel cables and synthetic slings.  But the old language is not all lost.

The ground is soft and bumpy.  The sills will "doze" or plow the dirt.  A smart person will put some skids down.  These four-by-fours had been laying on the ground.  I placed them wet, slippery side up for obvious reasons.

Overview.  The mattock (between the skids) is a very handy tool for this kind of job.  This view is looking eastward.

Pry pole.  Just a length of red maple that was reasonably straight and stout.  A flat was chainsawed into the thicker end.  If I was smarter I would have made two of these.

Stick one end of the mattock beneath the sill on the east end of the coop.  Lift.  Stuff in the pry pole.

"Ooof!"  About four inches.  Progress stalled out here until I wised up and cut the vines that had grown up through the poultry netting.

About four feet.  I stuffed some "rounds", that is, lengths of firewood beneath the sides of the coop to hold it up to streamline sticking the pry pole into place.

About eight feet along.

About 12 feet.  We got here four inches at a time.  You don't have to be smart or strong.  You just have to be patient and be willing to work until you are done.

Additional cardboard was placed in bottom.  Feeders, waterer were also added.  Gaps in netting were nailed down.

There are the girls!  Basking in the sun.  They are a bit cool.  You can tell because they are huddling.

Potatoes, continued

This is just a quick update to let everybody know that things are good.

I missed putting up a post yesterday.  That is a rarity.  When I first started this blogging gig I asked Pawpaw for some advice.  I admire Pawpaw as a writer and I admire his priorities.  One of his pieces of advice was to put something up every day.  Readers become interested in your projects and want to know.

Church

I attended Mass yesterday morning.  Fr David gave a nice homily about the miracles (signs) in the Gospel John.

The Potato Barn

Then I drove to the Potato Barn on the MSU campus and had a nice chat with Greg.  I don't ever recall meeting Greg before but he is a potato guy's potato guy.  He picked out Spartan Splash based on my desire to "feed my family."


Greg taste tests several hundred potato selections in each year between seedling selections and standard reference potatoes.  Greg keeps coming back to Spartan Splash as his favorite eating potato.  The only place Spartan Splash falters as a culinary potato is when deep-fat fried.  Greg suggested spraying or dipping in whatever oil/fat (bacon grease, yum!) and "oven frying" as an alternative. 

The team also agreed to let me try Missaukee as a potato that fills a different part of the potato portfolio.

Because some people seem to have an interest in these kinds of things, I did pay a premium over the price for commodity seed potatoes and I agreed to report on how they performed under my growing conditions.  In other words, don't go knocking on their doors expecting free or cheap seed potatoes.

Incidentally, I also enjoyed Greg because he is so positive about the MSU potato program and all the people he works with.  He holds them in the highest regard and he enjoys coming to work every morning.  The MSU Potato Barn has a very good vibe.

Greg implied that the reason for that vibe is that the program director, David Douches, sets the tone.  I know that have never heard anybody say a bad word about Dave Douches.

Potato chips made from a population of siblings.  Each small pile is from a single sibling.  Potatoes were stored for 6 months because various bio-chemical things can happen inside the potato during storage.  Chips were made.  Each selection is tested for color, acrylamide, glycoalkaloids and other components that are correlated with perceived quality.  Those metrics will be regressed with DNA testing to determine if there are any DNA markers or locii that correlate.

One of the side conversations that Greg and I had was how good science seems to correlate with concrete floors.  Science can be messy and concrete is easy to clean.

I don't know how many more roller-racks they had in the back room, but this is the one that they were working their way through when I was there.  It was cordoned off front-and-back to keep people from bumping into it. 

Needless to say, they keep meticulous records. 

Cutting wood

I am out of shape.

I cut wood for two hours yesterday.

I cut and dragged limbs from our ice storm back in December.  Brush to one side of the yard for burning.  Bigger pieces to another area for bucking into burn wood for heating.

Picture taken back in December

Tree that had been ice damaged is in upper right corner of the picture.

Planting Trees

Then I dug up a nine foot tall Swamp White Oak (Quercus bicolor) and moved it into our yard.  I have a hybrid poplar (Populus alba X grandidentata) that is starting to lose lateral limbs to disease.  The oak is positioned to provide shade to part of the yard that the aspen currently covers.

I had to muscle our swing set over to make room for it.

Core Strength

I find it humorous that people think they are going to jump off their couch and become total beasts when the poop hits the propeller.  It is an endearing and comforting fantasy; like Grandma Alice telling her little grandchildren that she will rescue them if the house catches fire.  She will scramble up the rose trellis with the agility of Zorro, tuck them next to her more than ample bosom and scramble back down the trellis.

Grandma Alice has great faith in adrenaline.

What I noticed this evening is that my abs and back are screaming.  Dragging wood and picking up lop-sided, twisted chunks of wood place a lot of torque on your body core.  Twisting down and tunneling beneath trees and cutting roots also jacks those muscles up.

School Conferences

I attended Kubota's school conferences.  Frankly, I needed the break.

Volunteering

One reason I am hurrying through this post is that I have a date this morning.  I am still volunteering up at the school.

I have become a "Sight-word Ring" guy.  It takes each little tyke about 10 minutes to grind their way through their Sight-word Ring.  Some are much faster.  Some are slower.  But on average it is 8-to-10 minutes per child.

Education is a labor intensive business.  Especially with the littlest students.