Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Stub 9.9: Sending a message


“Hey buddy,” AJ greeted the regular guard. “I need a favor.”

The guard asked, “What do you have to trade?”

“I know some KILLER websites with pictures of hot women and I guarantee the filter on your phone won’t stop them.” AJ Cwiok said.

The guard considered it for a minute. He was not a quick thinker.

“Give me the website addresses and I might do your favor.” the guard counter-offered.

“I will give you ONE site, you do my favor and I will give you the others.” AJ countered.

“What is the website address?” the guard asked.

“It will be faster if you just hand me the phone and I type it in.” AJ said.

The guard would have plenty of reason to beat the shit out of AJ and his asshole buddy with his billy club if AJ did not hand it back so he willingly handed it through the bars.

AJ’s flying fingers also turned on the “geo” function so pictures would be tagged with GPS positions as he typed in the URL of the stash of hottie pictures.

AJ handed it back.

The guard scrolled through the pictures. They were breathtakingly beautiful girls with exactly the amount of clothing that appealed to the guard.  "They are all brunettes." the guard commented.

"The other three sites have blondes, redheads and albinos." AJ assured him.

"Albinos?" the guard asked. "What is an 'albino'?"

"Blonder than blonde." AJ assured him. "You will like."

“Fair enough. What is your ‘favor’.” the guard asked.

“My girlfriend is knocked up and she is going to have our second daughter in three weeks. She promised that I could to name this one and I know that if she has it before I get back home then she will name it. You know how women are. It is sure to be something stupid.” AJ said.

“I just want to send her the name I picked out and maybe you could include a photo to show I am ‘OK’. “ AJ requested.

That sounded fair to the guard.

Albinos!

AJ was counting on the fact that all the guards were disadvantaged minorities and only needed a 60% on the Cali civil service exam to get hired.

“What is the name?” the guard asked.

“Kaytn Forest Cwiok” AJ said.

“How do you spell that?” the guard asked, baffled.

“Probably faster if you let me type it and take the selfie.” AJ said. “I will let you look it over before I send it.

The guard could see no harm in AJ’s request.

It only took a few seconds to type in the name. Tim-Tom photobombed the selfie and made a goofy set of “muscles” in the background.

The guard gave the message a cursory glance, then typed in the number AJ gave him and sent the message.

AJ was as good as his word and gave the guard the other three URLs with the stealthy pictures that would slip through the security software.

Albinos!

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