I am available

I admit to frequently joking around.

I am entirely serious as I write this post.

Elon Musk's stalking of Twitter will undoubtedly create a demand for conservatives to serve on Corporate Boards of companies who market "social media". They might see it as a way to "inoculate" themselves against other raiders.

In light of Musk's characteristics, the ideal conservative probably lacks social skills but is happily oblivious to those lacks. He sports a cheap haircut and thinks differently than 99.99% of the Progressives. He is frequently seen wearing jeans.

I am available.

While I work cheaply, I do have certain conditions.

I need access to the corporate library so I can access recent issues of Harvard Business Review and MIT's Sloan Management Review. I also need access to a couple of trade journals that focus on social media.

I need to anonymously go through the "new-hire on-boarding process'. I need to see the organization from the bottom.

I need the authority to wander around the campus and drop into meetings as the proverbial fly-on-the-wall. I insist on paying for my own coffee.

I need time with the accountants so I can become informed about the business's cost structure and revenue streams.

I need to see a plan on how the company intends to convert "eyeballs" and free content into recurring revenue.

I can only work for companies that are not headquartered in California, Hawaii, Illinois, Massachusetts or New York. These might be great states for businesses that are incubating or never intend to turn a profit but as a Board Member I am supposed to represent the share-holders. Share-holders care about stock price which ultimately is an estimate of company's discounted future profits after taxes.

Like I said, I am entirely serious about this offer.