A commenter from Muskegon (maybe PP-51?) observed in an earlier post
"...until they (young adults) realize that blaming parents doesn’t get them anywhere, they’ll never realize they need to push themselves to improvement necessary to succeed in the world."
What I like about his observation is that it bypasses all of the cheesy, amateur-psychology and the dubious chains of cause-and-effect. It focuses on what is effective.
The commenter boils it down to a simple, binary choice:
- Blame external forces, like the choices your parents or other boomers made, and stay stuck because you cannot change them
- Respond to the challenge, change your actions and succeed
Choose the outcome you want and then modify your actions accordingly.
You can
- Focus on past injustices (which you cannot change)
- or you can focus on changing the outcomes
Worth sharing
I thought this was worth sharing. Yes, it is "AI" generated, but then so is a Google search. I agree with about 80% of the material. Where I differ is that I believe that we have to treat the people closest to us differently than friends and acquaintances.
Today's musical piece for Quicksilver
Intimacy is built by revealing small vulnerabilities and seeing how the other party respects or abuses that information. If the vulnerability is respected, then they are trusted with a more revealing and potentially more damaging vulnerability.
Intimacy requires maintenance and it is not possible to be emotionally intimate with a large number of people, hence the need for boundaries.
"...until they (young adults) realize that blaming parents doesn’t get them anywhere, they’ll never realize they need to push themselves to improvement necessary to succeed in the world."
ReplyDeleteI have a brother (in Michigan) who kept blaming his parents for this and that well into his thirties. He even told his mother she shouldn't have had so many kids (he was the youngest). He finally got his act together and is now successful in his sixties. Has to come from within though; outside help - even family - doesn't do it.
I remember a Japanese quote: Fix the problem, not the blame. I have lived by that. Our mental scales are very sensitive. They can measure fairness to the nth degree. You can put blame on the other side to balance it, but eventually the balance will break. Not good. Or, you can remove the fairness imbalance with forgiveness. Then the scale is cleared and ready for the next injustice. When I hold resentment, it's an anchor in the past. I can only get so far away from it and then I'm stuck, unable to proceed. Forgiveness breaks the chain, allowing me to progress, to grow, to move on... And that is freedom.
ReplyDeleteVery good points!
ReplyDeleteI see way to many people blaming others for their problems, or even worse - creating problems, then expecting others to solve them!
I've seen lots and lots of people complain about jobs and housing prices recently, expecting others to pay so they can afford the housing they want or get the jobs they want: not want, need.
On the rare occasions I get details, these people universally insist they "have" to stay in a trendy neighborhood of a big, expensive, city when they only have education that qualifies them for menial jobs.
I tell them what I've said before here: to get ahead, you have to be willing and able to what others can't or won't - which includes doing it in places where others won't go.
Go somewhere with good pay and low expenses for a few years, save, and when you come back you can afford the house you want - but I hope you'll discover there is more to the world than you knew and you'll move beyond the need to live in that city.
Jonathan
One of the best quotes I came upon later in life is that The Universe (or the God of Christianity or the deity of your choice) owes you nothing. If you what anything, you have to work for it
ReplyDeleteBy blaming anything else, you are effectively removing the power from your life to change anything. Before long "it is someone's fault" becomes "it is the world's fault", which conveniently allows an "out" for not working harder.
Meanwhile, those that want success will be out working for it.