Jana “Hurrumphed” with frustration.
“Something the matter, dear” Gowain, her husband of fifty years asked. It was an invitation to share the source of her distress. He already knew that she was feeling peevish.
“I am shopping for a light jacket and can’t find what I am looking for” Jana complained.
“Remind me of what you are looking for” Gowain. She could have reminded him last week or ten years ago and it would not have mattered to him. He was supposed to remember things like that.
“Do you remember that jacket I bought on our 20th anniversary trip? I am looking for another one exactly like that” Jana said.
“You mean the blue one?” Gowain asked.
“Turquiose” Jana corrected him. “Yes. I want one exactly like the turquiose jacket I bought on our second honeymoon."
“That shouldn’t be a problem…” Gowain offered.
“It shouldn’t be. But it is!” Jana said, frustration seeping through her words.
“I go with you shopping in lots of places. Most of them have coats. Did you look there” Gowain said in what he thought was a helpful tone.
“Those were the first places I looked. It is the time of year to be be shopping for light jackets and everything they have are soft knits or fleeces or “breathable” fabrics. I have lots of those and they pick up every seed and bur when I walk outside. I want a simple windbreaker, what we used to call a “shell” back in the day” Jana said.
“Did you talk to any of the salespeople?” Gowain asked.
“Salespeople are an endangered species. There were a few employees skulking behind the racks but they said their job was restocking” Jana said. "Which was a lie because the racks were almost empty."
Gowain started tapping on his tablet. “Ah-ha! Here is what you are looking for” as he spun the tablet for her to see.
“Something the matter, dear” Gowain, her husband of fifty years asked. It was an invitation to share the source of her distress. He already knew that she was feeling peevish.
“I am shopping for a light jacket and can’t find what I am looking for” Jana complained.
“Remind me of what you are looking for” Gowain. She could have reminded him last week or ten years ago and it would not have mattered to him. He was supposed to remember things like that.
“Do you remember that jacket I bought on our 20th anniversary trip? I am looking for another one exactly like that” Jana said.
“You mean the blue one?” Gowain asked.
“Turquiose” Jana corrected him. “Yes. I want one exactly like the turquiose jacket I bought on our second honeymoon."
“That shouldn’t be a problem…” Gowain offered.
“It shouldn’t be. But it is!” Jana said, frustration seeping through her words.
“I go with you shopping in lots of places. Most of them have coats. Did you look there” Gowain said in what he thought was a helpful tone.
“Those were the first places I looked. It is the time of year to be be shopping for light jackets and everything they have are soft knits or fleeces or “breathable” fabrics. I have lots of those and they pick up every seed and bur when I walk outside. I want a simple windbreaker, what we used to call a “shell” back in the day” Jana said.
“Did you talk to any of the salespeople?” Gowain asked.
“Salespeople are an endangered species. There were a few employees skulking behind the racks but they said their job was restocking” Jana said. "Which was a lie because the racks were almost empty."
Gowain started tapping on his tablet. “Ah-ha! Here is what you are looking for” as he spun the tablet for her to see.
Jana rolled her eyes. “Camouflage? Really Gowain. And what is the price?”
Gowain spun the tablet back and scrolled down the page. “Holy-smokes! $359 marked down to $329. What is it made of? Gold-leaf?”
“That is what I am finding” Jana confirmed. “The only people who go outside anymore are hunters and fishermen and people working construction. The construction workers have to wear bright yellow and the outdoors-men wear camo.”
“I think you would look hot in bright yellow’ Gowain said loyally to his wife of fifty years.
“And it would make my eyes look jaunticed. Thanks but no-thanks” Jana demurred.
“Are you sure you need another jacket?” Gowain asked, briefly touching the third-rail.
Actually, Gowain considered himself three-times-blessed. Jana was very frugal and did not “shop” to scratch an itch. Jana was extremely practical in what she bouth and she took scrupulous care of what she did buy. After all, her last jacket had lasted thirty years.
“You know, if we had stayed in town I could probably get by with what I had. But it is windier here” Jana said.
“There is so much more to do outside, I need to be able to dress in layers. Soft, fuzzy layers with a windbreaker on top.”
“The internet?” Gowain asked.
“And how will I be able to try it on before I buy it, Mr Smartypants?” Jana said.
Jana had a very detailed and particular way of buying things like jackets. She brought her quilted flannel shirt and her fleece and put them on. Then she donned the jacket or coat and touched her toes and ran through a few basic yoga moves.
“I understand you can send them back” Gowain offered.
“And I need the jacket NOW” Jana said.
In the end, Gowain agreed that they needed to make an expedition to 10 Maples Mall in The Big City. It was to be an all-day event. Gowain was looking forward to cheating on his diet and eating fried food at lunch but he was not looking forward to the inevitable tummy ache that was sure to follow.
Like Stanley stalking through the wilds of the Congo, Jana threaded her way through the retail outlets, the upscale boutiques and the mega anchor stores, all to no avail.
Lunch was a club sandwich that they shared, two cups of soup and a basket of sweet-potato fries. And than back into the jungle.
The closest they came was a jacket that Jana said was lapis lazuli (and not turquoise) and met all of the other requirements but it was $650. No way. Just no way at all.
By three in the afternoon, they were both whipped. Jackets that used to cost $10 twenty years ago no longer existed except in very expensive boutiques as novelty items. Heck, windbreakers had been given away as promotionals, like pens with novelty printing on them. While seemingly insubstantial, they could be rolled tightly and fit into a quart, zip-lock baggie and yet could shed rain, brisk breezes and strong sunlight.
Defeated, Jana asked Gowain if he could stand to visit a thrift-store before starting the two-hour drive home. Gowain checked his wristwatch and confirmed it would still be light for another three hours and gave the go-ahead.
Gowain browsed the books and art section of the thrift shop. Some of the donated items were very high end.
And there it was!!! Jana found the holy grail of her quest. It had adjustable, elastic drawstrings around the bottom. The zipper was nylon but was very robust. The stitching was sound and the fabric unfaded and not frayed at the sleeves. And it was a true “Turquoise” in color and it was only $4.99!
Jana was standing in the checkout lane behind two other shoppers. The first shopper only had $10 of merchandise. She also had a coupon that expired soon but it only activated for total purchases over $30.
The first shopper handed the coupon to the second shopper.
The second shopper’s items only rang up to $28. “Whatchyou got, Honey?” the second shopper asked Jana.
Jana showed her the tag. “Five dollars” Jana said.
The second shopper snatched it up and put it on her pile. The $10-off coupon activated and the second shopper paid $23 and handed the windbreaker back to Jana.
“Thanks, Honey” the second shopper said.
The cashier waved Jana through. “That lady paid for it" the cashier said, pointing to shopper number two. "No skin off my nose if she wanted to give it to you after checking out.”
And that is how Jana got her new jacket for the next thirty years for no money out of her pocket.
Gowain spun the tablet back and scrolled down the page. “Holy-smokes! $359 marked down to $329. What is it made of? Gold-leaf?”
“That is what I am finding” Jana confirmed. “The only people who go outside anymore are hunters and fishermen and people working construction. The construction workers have to wear bright yellow and the outdoors-men wear camo.”
“I think you would look hot in bright yellow’ Gowain said loyally to his wife of fifty years.
“And it would make my eyes look jaunticed. Thanks but no-thanks” Jana demurred.
“Are you sure you need another jacket?” Gowain asked, briefly touching the third-rail.
Actually, Gowain considered himself three-times-blessed. Jana was very frugal and did not “shop” to scratch an itch. Jana was extremely practical in what she bouth and she took scrupulous care of what she did buy. After all, her last jacket had lasted thirty years.
“You know, if we had stayed in town I could probably get by with what I had. But it is windier here” Jana said.
“There is so much more to do outside, I need to be able to dress in layers. Soft, fuzzy layers with a windbreaker on top.”
“The internet?” Gowain asked.
“And how will I be able to try it on before I buy it, Mr Smartypants?” Jana said.
Jana had a very detailed and particular way of buying things like jackets. She brought her quilted flannel shirt and her fleece and put them on. Then she donned the jacket or coat and touched her toes and ran through a few basic yoga moves.
“I understand you can send them back” Gowain offered.
“And I need the jacket NOW” Jana said.
In the end, Gowain agreed that they needed to make an expedition to 10 Maples Mall in The Big City. It was to be an all-day event. Gowain was looking forward to cheating on his diet and eating fried food at lunch but he was not looking forward to the inevitable tummy ache that was sure to follow.
Like Stanley stalking through the wilds of the Congo, Jana threaded her way through the retail outlets, the upscale boutiques and the mega anchor stores, all to no avail.
Lunch was a club sandwich that they shared, two cups of soup and a basket of sweet-potato fries. And than back into the jungle.
The closest they came was a jacket that Jana said was lapis lazuli (and not turquoise) and met all of the other requirements but it was $650. No way. Just no way at all.
By three in the afternoon, they were both whipped. Jackets that used to cost $10 twenty years ago no longer existed except in very expensive boutiques as novelty items. Heck, windbreakers had been given away as promotionals, like pens with novelty printing on them. While seemingly insubstantial, they could be rolled tightly and fit into a quart, zip-lock baggie and yet could shed rain, brisk breezes and strong sunlight.
Defeated, Jana asked Gowain if he could stand to visit a thrift-store before starting the two-hour drive home. Gowain checked his wristwatch and confirmed it would still be light for another three hours and gave the go-ahead.
Gowain browsed the books and art section of the thrift shop. Some of the donated items were very high end.
And there it was!!! Jana found the holy grail of her quest. It had adjustable, elastic drawstrings around the bottom. The zipper was nylon but was very robust. The stitching was sound and the fabric unfaded and not frayed at the sleeves. And it was a true “Turquoise” in color and it was only $4.99!
Jana was standing in the checkout lane behind two other shoppers. The first shopper only had $10 of merchandise. She also had a coupon that expired soon but it only activated for total purchases over $30.
The first shopper handed the coupon to the second shopper.
The second shopper’s items only rang up to $28. “Whatchyou got, Honey?” the second shopper asked Jana.
Jana showed her the tag. “Five dollars” Jana said.
The second shopper snatched it up and put it on her pile. The $10-off coupon activated and the second shopper paid $23 and handed the windbreaker back to Jana.
“Thanks, Honey” the second shopper said.
The cashier waved Jana through. “That lady paid for it" the cashier said, pointing to shopper number two. "No skin off my nose if she wanted to give it to you after checking out.”
And that is how Jana got her new jacket for the next thirty years for no money out of her pocket.
Last Tuesday, shopped 5.11 clothing store where 40% off for select items was offered. Happily, a packable windbreaker in XXL was purchased for $16.00, including tax. That the whole thing fits in its self contained hip pocket is awesome. I have a much older non insulated unit that is smaller - a great light windbreaker.
ReplyDeleteFor now, my cup runneth over.
ERJ, this is an "we are already there" moment. I have not even looked at any new clothing for a rather long time simply due to prices; there are a couple of "upscale" thrift stores that have jeans in my size (jeans seem to be the first thing to go at the Salvation Army).
ReplyDeleteAnd shoes. Sigh. Boots I can make do for many years, but sports shoes are something different. I have actually held on to every pair I have had (most of which have holes in the material) just because of the expense.
When it rains it pours. This time was in Jana's favor, but it works both ways.
ReplyDeleteNice to know that I'm not the only one who hangs onto clothes for 20+ years. Daughter coming on thursday for 37 shirts that are over the 20 year mark. Downsizing is the pits.
ReplyDeleteYears ago I had a "fleece" type pullover , with a tightly knit outer surface that would shed wood chips and sawdust. Never could find another, they all have that fuzzy dust dirt and chip collecting surface now.
ReplyDeleteThe vast majority of consumers these days has never seen a chip of sawdust from a chainsaw and actual dirt only rarely.
DeleteWe shop at Goodwill quite a bit. I’ve gotten wool skirts for $5 or $6, last year wool was running $20/yd online and at the fabric store. My husband buys suit jackets for $5. Italian made silk ties for $1. Brand new, over-run winter zip parka, with tags still on them, for $7. You just have to check frequently, you never know what you’ll find.
ReplyDeleteSouthern NH
Goodwill (the brand) is a scam using government money to employ the clerks and pay rent on the building while the owner takes all the money from the sales of donated items and charges rent on the building....profits for him all the way around....
DeleteDeals for you and Millions for him at the taxpayers expense.
If you can, shop at other thrift stores.
It’s the only one in our area. Not even a Salvation Army near us. There is one Sal Army south of us, but we don’t head that way usually. Used to be the quality and cleanliness was lacking on both counts in that store.
Delete
ReplyDeleteAt the thrift store.
My wife is a slightly younger Jana, only together 47 years. Earlier this year, she found 12 pair of 5.11's and similar in my size, 36"x"33 in several colors. She bought all of them, they're like new. Best part? She payed $2 a pair before sales tax. I'm 72, I've got quality pants (dress and work) for life.
We'll need something, she will "put it into the ether", she'll find it soon, cheap. Yeah, I'm a LFB, (lucky friggin bastid).